You work out of a Hotel?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
