singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
