My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
