i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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