you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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