Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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