Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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