Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
