We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
