At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
is it fun? or sober?
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