i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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