And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
