Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Terrible idea I love it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize