Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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