That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
