I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
