party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
