what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
