I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
