ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize