Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
