After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
