Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Naked. naked and bneed help.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
