Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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