Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
