i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
