i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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