those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
