I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
