p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
