You made me cry and you don't even care
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
