Im at strip club and am horny
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
