youre lurking in front of me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
