my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
