I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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