i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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