yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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