He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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