if you like me you must not know who I am
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
