around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
