That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
