I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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