she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize