what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
