I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
