New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
