I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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