You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
