I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
