im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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