One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize