She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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