Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted

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(785): View more from Kansas

Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?

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(334): View more from Alabama

She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.

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(410): View more from Maryland

ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.

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(+61): View more from Australia

You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.

(+61): View more from Australia

Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.

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(727): View more from Florida

Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.

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