i may or may not be watching the land before time
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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