Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
