omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
