So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
