dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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