Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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